Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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