Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman

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  (440): I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman http://tfl.nu/jmt9
  Replies (6) Good night (2200) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"

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  (714): DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job" http://tfl.nu/slki
  Replies (24) Good night (1229) Bad night (3305)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.

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  (517): Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite. http://tfl.nu/8on0
  Replies (7) Good night (979) Bad night (2672)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me

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  (508): the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me http://tfl.nu/ptyo
  Replies (75) Good night (26163) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.

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  (901): Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods. http://tfl.nu/16un
  Replies (26) Good night (4083) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan

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  (773): They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan http://tfl.nu/hlq0
  Replies (24) Good night (1513) Bad night (3396)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.

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  (256): I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed. http://tfl.nu/8aru
  Replies (28) Good night (5183) Bad night (2107)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.

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  (513): After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God. http://tfl.nu/onhi
  Replies (16) Good night (3221) Bad night (1558)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out

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  (413): my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out http://tfl.nu/0mnv
  Replies (13) Good night (8802) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.

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  (207): We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks. http://tfl.nu/8fko
  Replies (3) Good night (1446) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm

  (1-757): View more from Virginia

  Dick in a box?

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  (757): Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm (1-757): Dick in a box? http://tfl.nu/x7sn
  Replies (13) Good night (4594) Bad night (810)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.

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  (772): You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer. http://tfl.nu/ehgy
  Replies (10) Good night (1920) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.

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  (519): I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption. http://tfl.nu/y4ti
  Replies (1) Good night (687) Bad night (395)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.

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  (574): I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever. http://tfl.nu/zs85
  Replies (7) Good night (395) Bad night (1380)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.

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  (503): Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick. http://tfl.nu/mpmj
  Replies (9) Good night (717) Bad night (414)

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