its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball