And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme