sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere