Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(504): View more from Louisiana

My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life

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(504): My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life http://tfl.nu/kko9

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(973): View more from New Jersey

i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see

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(973): i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see http://tfl.nu/sebi

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(516): View more from New York

you left your dildo in my car

(516): View more from New York

rules of finders keepers apply

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(516): you left your dildo in my car (516): rules of finders keepers apply http://tfl.nu/0377

Replies (20) Good night (3436) Bad night (1218)
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(366): View more from

just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.

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(366): just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her. http://tfl.nu/eijl

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope

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(412): basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope http://tfl.nu/brdy

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(+03): View more from

Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'

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(+03): Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here' http://tfl.nu/86hi

Replies (14) Good night (6383) Bad night (1250)
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(206): View more from Washington

..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"

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(206): ..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance" http://tfl.nu/51ez

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(601): View more from Mississippi

You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

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(601): You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin. http://tfl.nu/p6zj

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(419): View more from Ohio

You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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(419): You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?" http://tfl.nu/acel

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

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(970): I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/vise

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(631): View more from New York

I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.

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(631): I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice. http://tfl.nu/lrh1

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(703): View more from Virginia

Vodka?

(202): View more from Washington, DC

Forever.

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(703): Vodka? (202): Forever. http://tfl.nu/90ug

Replies (7) Good night (1282) Bad night (402)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha

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(775): Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha http://tfl.nu/7v5q

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences

(919): View more from North Carolina

great clearly means different things to us

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(919): The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories (1-919): Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences (919): great clearly means different things to us http://tfl.nu/ha8x

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(712): View more from Iowa

Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?

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(712): Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow? http://tfl.nu/ikca

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