Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
