OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
