he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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