That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
