Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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