Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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