you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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