But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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