are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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