Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
