He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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