Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
