WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
