Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
