If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
