She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
