I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
