Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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