You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize