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So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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