I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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