Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
