somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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