I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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