Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Randomize
