Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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