yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
