It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
