so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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