I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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