ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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