Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
