I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You're like the curious george of whores
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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