P.S. I can't hear my feet
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Even my vagina gasped.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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