and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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