Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
