I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize