All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
