if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
