you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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