He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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