just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
