i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
