I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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