WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
