We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
