mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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