"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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