you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
