I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
