i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
