OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
