No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
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he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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