There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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