So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
