well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
