Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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