SEEEEXXX PLEASE
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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